Might is right (Update)

I've been wondering why politics is making me so weary. After all I feel as if I have been a passionate activist all my life. So why is all this political stuff bringing me down? Early this morning as I lay awake in the dark thinking about everything in general, mind wandering as a mind does, I realized that I am just so wretchedly tired of Patriarchy. Tired of might is right, weary of the sight of white men all over the television screen telling us what should or should not be, preaching morality while they bash and beat, lie and cheat, corrupt and manipulate, tired of seeing and hearing so many women join forces with the system, white men's lackeys in suits without the ties, guarding the gates, sneering and jeering as they support dominance, violence and fury as the way to solve all problems.

Now I know that much of the exhaustion is personal. Charlie once gave me bell hooks' wonderful book, Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. [I had already bought it a few weeks earlier - that's how well Charles knew me!] He inscribed in it:

To Tamar - for a great lady who has been confronting Patriarchy all her life. From Charles, the Haynie Patriarch. Thanks for everything.

He knew the struggle I had breaking free from the system within my own family. The dance, the jive between my mother and older brother as they shared dominion over everyone. Funny. It occurs to me that my experience was similar to bell hooks. She describes beginning her resistance to male domination and patriarchal thinking when she opposed "the strongest patriarchal voice" in her life. Her mother's voice. Charles had been watching my development since my coming to the United States when I began to allow myself, bit by bit, to find my voice. And then he encouraged, supported and expressed pride as I pushed out of the cocoon and searched for those damp, crumpled wings. Before he died, he asked me if perhaps I was starting to "reach my peak." He said the words with wonderment and joy. "If it was, Charles, it was short-lived because then the family system with its powerful duo at the helm, rallied strong, with full force to drag me back and down. I have been reeling ever since," I think to myself.

So, yes, the political weariness is certainly affected by the personal. However, the forces of dominance and control are huge. Might is right is the slogan. Patriarchy is stronger than ever. My friend Sally used to go to the polls on election day and vote for every woman she could whether they were on the left or the right. She just wanted women to get a chance! Now, of course, I know there are millions of women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy. Why I read just recently that more than 30% of child-abusers are mothers! I also see, read and hear in our media those women growling and snarling as they guard the gates of power and dominance. So, I'm not saying that only women will make the change we need in our violent system.

Ah, it is so deep. Deep and dark. The forces of dominance, control, and corruption are everywhere. All the tittering about Alito. So what if he wanted battered women to beg for abortions from their husbands. After all, don't husbands own their women? At least he is a reputable fellow, a good chap, a great old boy. Come one now, join the middle everyone, what do we call it lately? "Centrist." Ah, yes. There you go, good, obedient, moral citizens that you are becoming. See Cheney smile? Isn't he a fine human being? I hear he thinks that only certain people should be allowed to torture prisoners. Didn't McCain say that yesterday? What a sweetheart Dickie boy is. Now then, everyone, raise your little flags and cheer! Perhaps now, finally, after all these years of struggle and pain, we will be able, at last, to take away the woman's right to choose. Even as these old boys, old fellers stand around and honor Rosa Parks - I saw them yesterday, Frist and Alito - they are thinking up ways of putting us gals back into the kitchen, not to mention their unspoken abhorrence of gays! They all talk so much about Jesus. Do they remember that Jesus spoke of forgiveness and acceptance? Jesus talked about kindness and how not to judge a single woman or man unless we were free from sin ourselves. Jesus wasn't angry, vengeful, greedy, violent or a liar. At least, not the stories I've read about him. Have I been reading the wrong stories?

Yes indeed. I am exhausted. Tired of hypocrisy, greed and corruption. Weary of being lied to and oh so sick and tired of all the moralist preaching at me by these old boys: telling me that young children should be taking tests - no, not playing, no more playing - tests, tests, tests or they ain't gonna get no money; yelling at me about who should be sleeping with whom; terrorizing me with fear, panic and lies; teaching me right from wrong as if I can't work it out for myself. And all the while, stealing away my rights from behind my back.

I long for kindness, compassion and human integrity. I yearn to trust the people I vote for to make a stand for truth and justice. I dream that we might have the courage to shed Patriarchy and join together to create a different system altogether - one we've never seen or experienced before.

bell hooks imagines it too:

Imagine living in a world where there is no domination, where females and males are not alike or even always equal, but where a vision of mutuality is the ethos shaping our interaction. Imagine living in a world where we can all be who we are, a world of peace and possibility. Feminist revolution alone will not create such a world; we need to end racism, class elitism, imperialism. But it will make it possible for us to be fully self-actualized females and males able to create beloved community, to live together realizing our dreams of freedom and justice, living the truth that we are all "created equal."

Update:

This Too complements this post with Alison and Horatio.

Nappy 40's comment bears repeating here:

I think "centrist" is just a label. What's the point of joining the middle when we can see for ourselves the carnage the right causes? How can anyone be in the middle at a time like this?

Comments

[Winston]

Tamar, you are not alone in these feelings. Approximately half the population of this country (the thinking half)are all weary of it. The constant drum of lies coming out of the Bush-Reich, the thinly veiled moves to dominate us and roll America's clocks back a century, the waving of a Christian banner by people like Cheney, Frist, Bush, et al, is sickening, because as you pointed out, their actions and words have no resemblance to or basis in Christianity. They know there is a great mass of blind fundamental so-called Christians who will follow along like sheep to the slaughter. This is their major evil.

We are weary because over time, constant fear does that to us. If we can just endure until these tyrants, liars, and fools are out of office, we will be OK.

[Tamar]

Winston, I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am to read your comment. As I wrote the post this morning there were moments when tears of fatigue and rage were streaming down my cheeks. The despair lately has made me feel so alienated and alone (which I know is influenced by the personal as well as political).

So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your comment. I need to know that there is a full thinking half - at the very least - who really want a significant systemic change. I am not as hopeful as you that when these guys are done - we are safe.

[nappy40]

No, you're not alone at all Tamar. I have been feeling this since Bush was elected. It's mind boggling how anyone can support this oppressive regime. And the religious angle infuriates me even more. This isn't what Christianity is about. It's not even human.

I think "centrist" is just a label. What's the point of joining the middle when we can see for ourselves the carnage the right causes? How can anyone be in the middle at a time like this?

[Jean]

I'm not surprised you're weary and sometimes despairing. I think I've sometimes been forgetting lately just how dreadful your government is. I've got to know so many lovely people in the US through blogging that you kind of block it out for me, give me a strong vision of another America. Which I'm grateful for. And then I read something like your heartfelt words today, or those of another blogger who was telling me in an email the other day how she and her husband just can't bear it any more, and I remember. The 'Christian' aspect of politics is something I just can't even imagine, as religion is so very marginal here (though not, apparently and alarmingly, for our prime minister). I love the way you weave together the domestic and national dimensions of patriarchy here. I find it hard to see a way forward in politics as long as politics is a lifestyle mostly attractive to workaholic, unthinking megalomaniacs. And hard to see a way forward in personal life as long as most people feel dwarfed and overshadowed in their personal lives, disempowered and bitter at the way they are governed. But I've noticed your earlier words about creating 'pockets of light' bobbing about and recurring in various blogs - they obviously resonate with many of us.

[Jean]

I changed my mind about what to post on my blog today, and it only occurred to me after I'd done it that maybe this was because your words were in my mind.

[Adriana Bliss]

I am practically weeping with relief at reading your words. I've been reading a particular conservative blog where people of the same ilk gather and post, and I find myself just sickened at the rationalizations of the right-wing mentality, rationalization written so calmy from positions of power - there's no ruffling, their way is right, end of story. They continue to support liars, criminals, and continue to denigrate critics.

Dark, indeed. The worst part is that I suspect "the people" will not want a change in the guard.

Excellent post, Tamar. Thank you for proudly displaying your liberalism.

[Adriana Bliss]

Here, here, Nappy40!

[Joel Sax]

I'm barely able to contain the feeling myself. Between these wars that are going nowhere, the slow peeling away of our civil liberties, and the sustained corporate assault on our very livelihoods, I get very weary, too.

The most important election for me is the one we face next week when the AHnold Five and Proposition 78 attempt to make California corporation friendly. I hope he loses but then I don't trust the election machines.

[Gemma Grace]

"I long for kindness, compassion and human integrity. I yearn to trust the people I vote for to make a stand for truth and justice. I dream that we might have the courage to shed Patriarchy and join together to create a different system altogether - one we've never seen or experienced before." May your words ring out for everyone to hear!

[Tamar]

Jean, your post about Alison and Horatio is grand! Perfect fit. And thank you, too, for reminding me about pockets of light. Sometimes when it feels so dark I forget my theory!

Nappy 40, your words had to be put into my update! I couldn't agree with you more!

Joel, good luck with your elections. May we live in interesting times.

Adriana, yes, it is precisely from my reading all these Centrist and Right wing rationalizations lately that I finally felt so dragged down. Am glad we could share the pain.

Thanks gemma.

Indeed, this morning brings new light knowing you are all out there with similar thoughts and feelings. Not so lonely now. Thank you all so much.