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May 30, 2007

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John A

Oh, Tamarika, you certainly do not deserve punishment for this precious act of sharing on your blog. And, you definitely did not deserve to be punished for the enjoyment you brought to others with your gifts of song!

Why on Earth should anyone be punished for sharing their gifts with others? How can such an obviously false story feel so obviously true to you?

I think I know the answer.

I believe that we have within us two different sets of mental programs. The oldest set is exclusively obsessed with getting our unique genetics into the next generation. The newest set has the ability to figure out, and then share, strategies that have nothing to do with our genes.

Your singing and writing don't seem like worthwhile endeavors from the perspective of the older programs. Therefore, it is the highest priority job of these programs to convince you to use your time and effort, instead, in ways that are more likely to result in the furtherance of their agendas.

Your problem, from this ancient perspective, is that you are too generous for your own good. Stop it, or you'll be sorry.

Your answer, I believe, is to use your newer programs' to interrogate the stories being peddled by the older ones. The stories that result in your pain are not true and they cannot survive the light of inquiry.

It seems from your posts that you have decided to live the remainder of your life in love and peace. You do not have to suffer for this. Not unless you choose to leave unchallenged the painful, and untrue stories that are designed to push you back toward an agenda you have outgrown.

Keep writing. Keep singing. These are not punishable offenses in the real world.

tamarika

Well, John A, that is an interesting comment indeed. The idea that becoming hoarse as self-punishment belongs to an ancient story that after inquiry is simply not true - or necessary for that matter - any longer. It is a good idea which ever way it is told and has given me more food for thought.

Thank you.

tamar

Today I revisited the classic film, The 400 Blows, much of it reflecting the life/personality/circumstances/historical time and place of its director, Francois Truffaut. The hero/director, too, was abused for self-expression (both inborn and in response to emotionally crippled adults... parents, teachers, authorities). His "illness," if any, in reaction to the abuses was threefold, as I understood. Dig in those heels and persevere in self-expression, find a soulmate/buddy, and take off/leave/exit scenes of "crimes" against self. Something about your post resonates with what I understood watching the film.

tamarika

Tamar,
This is terribly interesting to me. Thanks so much for bringing the movie to my attention. I will surely find it soon and watch it. After I had written my post I was hoarse for a short time and then it went away much more quickly than usual. I have a feeling that somehow bringing it out into the open like that and sharing my vulnerability publicly, helped.

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