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August 08, 2008

Comments

Tom

My Loving Wife - since you asked:

So tender your reflections on daring to dream, in relation to your son, and on the conflicting obligations of obligation, and of responsibility. And not a little sad the accompanying sense of opportunities lost for parents, and children, and for us all. But please dear don't overlook your gifts. For, dreaming isn't all you have taught and given. The courage of emotional honesty must surely be considered something other than dreaming. And that is by no means all.

In any case, one cannot live on obligation alone, either. So the issue must be one of reconciliation among the poles of desire, one for promise of dreams and the other for the security of obligations. For my part I cannot find a way to choose among them. Nor can a midway point be satisfactory, or even logical. (How can one fulfill obligations while following one's dreams?) Philosophically, it seems possible, at best, to live an illogical life. Pursue dreams. Satisfy obligations. Without trying to reconcile.

I think this, too, you have in fact practiced in your life, though your need to justify yourself often betrays you, and cheats you out of some of the equanimity you deserve.

Love Forever, Tom

gilad

following one's heart can be a very serious commitment/obligation.

thanks for the kind words. it was good to see both of you too yesterday

tamarika

Between the two of you and your comments, I am learning more and more. Indeed, "following one's heart can be a very serious commitment/obligation " just might have to be my next "quote of the day!"

Not to mention, "Philosophically, it seems possible, at best, to live an illogical life. Pursue dreams. Satisfy obligations. Without trying to reconcile."

Thanks so much. I am grateful for you both.
More than words can ever describe.

Jean

Dear Tamar, you are without any doubt the blogger who most often makes me cry, but in a good way. Thank you.

tamarika

Jean,
I am always grateful to know you are out there hearing me. Indeed, I wept as I wrote this post. It came from somewhere deep inside me.

Am relieved the crying is in a good way ... Smiles and hugs.

Aeron

Tamar,
Your post gives new moms like me much to think about! You are a role model for me.
Aeron

tamarika

Dear Aeron,
My heart is full to bursting to read your comment.
Thank you.
I am sure you are a wise and compassionate mother. I know some of your roots intimately.

MaryB

Oh, Tamarika, this is just beautiful. What a wonderful gift! I find the parent-child relationship more poignant as the years go by - maybe it's something to do with both of us occupying "adulthood," though at different ends of it. Your post reminds me of this incredible bond.

Ilene

Dear Tamar -- Sash has left and I reread your note tonight. What wisdom and what love! I always wanted my children to feel at home in the world in a way I never did -- as though they might be able to walk into anyone's living room (or life) and feel welcome and warm and comfortable. It is something I never had and longed to give my children. Of course, it's all about me and my discomfort (as you note about our wishes and advice), but we give what we can, and wish what we need to wish. We can't solve things for our children, but we can offer them our ears, our hearts and our unconditional love. You have given all three to Gilead, and what a lucky boy he is!

Kay Dennison

What a wonderful letter!!!!!!!! I cried!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brenda replies

Lots to think about here ... especially as I feel torn right now between following "my bliss" (or what I think might be my bliss, but which would most certainly hurt others) and remaining dutifully on course ... but on a course I never wanted to be on. Still I guess I continue to hope that those two roads will somehow merge.

tamarika

Brenda,
I love what Tom (my husband) had to say (above), because I think he speaks to what you are talking about here:
"In any case, one cannot live on obligation alone, either. So the issue must be one of reconciliation among the poles of desire, one for promise of dreams and the other for the security of obligations."

Thanks so much for stopping by.

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