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April 24, 2009

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tamarika

sky,
Last year I had a major physical/medical scare, and i spent the year feeling quite overwhelmed until it all finally worked itself out - with the help of excellent and very supportive doctors. I think I finally had to acknowledge that I am immortal. It was quite an uncomfortable revelation! Brought the age thing right home, front and center.

I think it explains why I have decided to embrace aging even though each day brings its surprises, and some of them not so pleasant! One of those facts of life that I just have to accept. I do think there are some benefits though. A feeling that I've paid my dues, and now it is time to relish in every pleasurable moment, and experience each second of joy that I can find.

Indeed, the pain, regret and fear are ever present - but they are becoming more like companions - rather than enemies.

I wonder if I am making any sense here ... ho hum!

sky

this post is filled with such depth of thought and feeling. as i mentioned somewhere in your blog before - if i could have the vitality, energy, and body of my youth while quietly enjoying the the wisdom of my aging process i would be a very happy woman. we are close in age and yet i don't feel the excitement you describe because i am grappling with body issues. i hope when the medical component of those issues is finished and i am able to become more physically active with exercise and weight loss i will feel healthier and less mournful for the days when i could do whatever i pleased.

i am most glad for the mellowing process but sometimes miss the days of deep passion i once felt for political causes and human rights. that part of me was surely stirred by obama, but in my 20s and 30s i was marching and demonstrating for many causes close to my heart, and the zeal i felt was fierce and fiery. i still care but without the same intensity and drive toward the personal active involvement i once had. i loved that social awareness and politically active part of me, the fervent need to be in the middle of it all. i miss the energy and passion which propelled me forward, which lit a fire in my belly. but, i think it is part of aging, to move forward more quietly and to pass the torch to the younger crowd.

i look at this leg of my journey as calmer, as a more serene chapter of living...different in that way from the other parts of my life when i was much more apt to live on the razor's edge. that time not only brought a rush of adrenaline and great highs but also brought intense heartbreak when i paid too little attention to information available to me but kept at a distance.

perhaps i will discover a new part of myself along this path which will bring as much joy to my life as the adventures of my younger days did. it's clearly up to me and the road i decide to travel.

Donna Falcone

TOmar I want to be like YOUUUUU when I become a sixty year old woman!!! Much love and many hugs to you.... and, by the way, no one has referred to me as 'young' in quite a while.... I like that you call me young/old friend.... I especially like the 'old friend' part because it represents constancy ... holding onto some'thing' that is not a thing at all... my collection of old friends is not as expansive as yours (uh... like, maybe 2?) but I am learning it is the quality and not the quantity that matters most.

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