How does it nurture you?

Quote of the day:

First of all, let me make one thing perfectly clear: I never explain anything. Mary Poppins

Just as I was beginning to feel that I was giving too much of myself away - out into the vacuum of cyberspace, I received a long e-mail from a dear friend. The letter was honest and exceptionally caring about my emotional well-being but my friend was also looking "as a sociologist who can’t help but see most things in life in their wider social/cultural implications." I appreciate my friend taking so much time and careful thought in relating to me personally. What an act of love!

As I read your blog I feel like I get a very in-depth appreciation not only for what you are going through in this move and career change, but I also learn many things about your background and experience that I never knew. This is a good thing for me. I get daily contact with a friend, I do it on my own terms. Days that I am busy, I leave it and catch up the next day. IF I feel like responding I might, but mostly I read and learn and react. But I can’t help but point out how one sided this is. You obviously put much time, thought, and soul searching into this on a regular schedule. You call it a commitment and it certainly is.

What do you get out of this commitment, how does it nurture you?

I wonder what the long term impact of this change will be for you and your old friends. Will people like me write to you less because paradoxically we are learning more about you but in a less personal format? So, whether we are reluctant to use the very public forum of cyber space, or feel less inclined to respond to less personalized correspondence, the result will be the same for you.

You will be spending a lot of time revealing important aspects of yourself to people without getting the same from those who read and learn about you.

I return to the question of why I blog. After all I am not a mega-blogger like so many people I am reading these days. I hardly receive any feedback for some of what I consider my deepest insights.

Of course there is some satisfaction in knowing that out there, somewhere, someone is reading what I have to say. That's the same for the book I wrote. Except that from my book came invitations to speeches and boosts to my resume which has been useful for career moves, and, in some cases, accolades!

So how does the blog nurture me? When I share my personal stories with "anyone" who is no one, or as David Gottlieb says, "... dancing on our keypads, singing silently to strangers" - do I give myself away? One of my problems that I have been working on just about all my life is exactly that: I give out so much more than I receive back and then am left feeling abandoned and lonely.

Back to the drawing board of reflection and wonder. Why on earth do I blog? What on earth is in it for me? Or for anyone else for that matter?

Comments

[Danny]

Tamar, these are the issues I think about every day! In some ways the one-sidedness of blogs can be painful to me because I also crave connection and worry that I'm wasting my time or engaging in some narcissistic act. But then I also love it because it allows me to explore and write about things that I would rarely sit and talk to someone about because I would feel too self-conscious. The topics of my blog entries are entirely for ME, and yet I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes get discouraged by the lack of response. But the satisfaction and benefits of having this creative outlet far outweigh the occasional agonies of my own neuroses. And just when I think that no one could possibly care about anything I write about I get a plethora of emails from friends and strangers about how they related to my blog and that becomes very rewarding too. And you need to know that even when you don't get any comments on your blog, putting your thoughts out there makes a definite impact on the world and is causing ripple effects in so many ways. I'm not sure I even understand this notion of "giving yourself away." Are you worried that the blog might leave you feeling depleted in your life because you've said too much? That sounds like old programming! I think the opposite is more likely, that organizing and sharing your thoughts and ideas in this way will help you feel fuller and more connected.

[Tamar]

Danny, My friend's thoughts about blogging in general and how it serves me in particular, certainly tapped into those old feelings, or old programming (as you termed it). It gave me food for thought. I am grateful that you commented here because I think that these are interesting issues. The difference between writing a book or blogging has to be the reciprocal and human connection element of the internet. Therefore it can feel lonely sometimes when there is no feedback. However, it is exciting and fulfilling to organize and share my thoughts, and I certainly would not sit and talk about some of the things I feel I am able to write about in this format. So the "why blog" is emerging and evolving, isn't it?

[The Lady]

My blog is a creative outlet to counter waht sometimes is an extremely stressful job. I started out blogging my opinions, but since I've spent my entire career keeping my opinions OUT of my work, it felt like wearing my shoes on the wrong feet!
Plus, I agreed with my employer not to use my name, blog about my job in particular or my industry in general.
Hence, Monkey Town.

[Tamar]

I am intrigued by you, the reason for your blog and your blog! Thanks so much for your comment. It helps me as I begin to understand the world of cyber blogging!

[The Lady]

Thank you! I've only been blogging for three months. So far I've determined it's HUGE among 20-somethings -- just another way to hang out together.

[Tamar]

I am excited to be able to "hang out" with "20-somethings" and so I think I will make a link on my site to Monkey Town. By the way, am confused about who is Musty and The Lady. Plus I want to think of a name for the sock-drawing - but am not sure who the name is for, as I reflect on suitable ones!

[The Lady]

Musty says I should tell you thanks for the link! Musty is Monkey Town's narrator. He introduces new characters, tells you what's going on day to day. You can find out more about Musty by clicking on ABOUT on the Monkey Town site. That's his big picture on the left.
Monkey Wonderful's picture is the small one on the right side of the text that explains he's looking for a new name.
I give voice to Musty. But as The Lady, I'm also a Monkey Town character. My husband is The Man. It's all very silly and a whole lot of fun.
As for the 20-somethings, they're not on my blog! I've lurked in (or is that on?) other blogs and found they have a number of "regulars" who comment. As far as I can tell, they live in the same area, sometimes work at the same company. Having a blog is like having a phone for them.
NONE of my 30, 40 & 50-something friends have a blog! Some hadn't even heard of blogging. I have a theory on that.
Please forgive the long-winded response!

[Tamar]

OF COURSE I am interested in your theory on that. AND I appreciate so much your long-winded response!