Siblings for Gilad

The news is out for some bloggers: Hilary has brought up the subject of abortion. I think she is courageous for doing this. Those who hate her will hate her no matter what she says. I liked what Robert Redford said to Terry Gross yesterday when she mentioned that some call him a Liberal. He expressed distaste about having labels attached to him.  It's interesting to me how labels fly about. I mean - are all democrats the same? Are all conservatives? Sometimes I'm asked, "As an Israeli, what do you think of this and such?" Well, what kind of an Israeli? An Arab-Muslim Israeli, a Christian Israeli, a Yemenite Israeli, a French Israeli, an Ethiopian or Russian Israeli? Which one? Not to mention a religious Israeli - and which kind of religion is that? Do I represent all Israelis? I remember, too, someone saying to me almost accusingly: "All you feminists ..." Which kind of feminist and what does "feminism" mean to so many different people? Is labeling a democratic thing? or do conservatives do it? How's about liberals? 

Redford said he looks at the issues and supports people who help make the world a better, safer place whether they are liberals, democrats or republicans.

Now, of course there are those who believe that everything is black and white. There is only one right or wrong and anyone who sees the gray area in between is making excuses for evil/doers.  I call this a "purist approach." I've been a "purist" but that was when I was afraid of complexity and confusion.  In fact, whether we like it or not,  fear it or not, life is complicated and diverse. Beware of "purists," I say. Those who are holier than thou. I would like to see anyone who walks the talk. I really would. I have my very few heroes like Marian Wright Edelman or Bill Ayers. But do they walk the talk in every thing, really? I agree that we should be vigilant and ask important questions. Just be wary of purism. I've lived it! It's an illusion. Simply because of the human factor. Is that why we dream of Heaven I wonder? Would we like to be God. Pure and immortal! But is God a purist?

Abortion has been a personal experience for me. An act of terror. Fear of losing someone I loved. At the time I had no choice, or so I believed.

I have never really overcome the emotional pain of it, nor the guilt.

I often feel like Jeff Bridges in The Fisher King when he says, "I wish I could just pay a fine and go home."  And so I care for other people's children and mourn the loss of siblings for Gilad.

We render people powerless when we take away their choices. Pro-Choice. But of course the issue of abortion is complex. It is moral and cultural and very emotional. And who are we to judge? On the other hand those who say they are Pro-Life (as if Pro-Choicers are Anti-Life) are often people who support war and glorify killing in other circumstances. And what about capital punishment? Is all killing wrong or is some more noble than others? Aha! I can't help it - I return to that inhuman "purist" approach.

Fear, the final frontier. It closes us to "the other" and turns us into judges of humanity. Why can't we just hold still, and stay open to all the questions?

Gilad once said, "You do what you can and the rest is magic."

Comments

[amba]

Tamar,

As I write about abortion, and about my own abortion, I remember that I've been told, sternly, that there are women, plenty of them, who walk away from an abortion feeling nothing but relief and never look back. I guess that's probably true. I feel less alone hearing that you're not one of them.

[Tamar]

These are such important stories to tell - to share.I am sure that there are those who felt relief and never looked back. I believe that this all goes back to the "purist" approach which states that there is only one way to see or behave about complex human emotional, moral and cultural issues. I too, feel less alone hearing that you are not one of them.