Still another mile

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream (ABBA)

Do you remember ABBA?

Ankh introduced me to them at the dawn of the eighties. Ah, in those days I was like a flower in bud stage just about to burst into bloom. I felt everything was possible ... pushing through the darkness still another mile ...

This song came onto my MP3 just as the workout was winding down, the melody and harmony washing over me and enveloping me with sadness.

And then a cardinal landed on a branch outside the window. How red it was! A miracle. And as I thought "Miracle," so then, did Ankh pop into my head.

That was not always her name. She changed it. Ankh forgave me all my transgressions. She came from far away to rejoice with me at Gilad's bar mitzvah. Her coming to me washed away my shame and sorrow from another time. She sat on my left, Tammy and Iris on my right, as from behind the curtain in the neighborhood synagogue, together, we watched Gilad singing like a most glorious lark.

Ankh shared her self-exploration and was always truthful with me even when it hurt. Her love and compassion held me through one of the most difficult times of my life. Sometimes I do not dare remember her because the pain of those memories are so sharp - like an old wound wakened with the rain.

But today she came to my mind with ABBA, the cardinal in the tree, at the end of my workout. Ankh introduced me to Findhorn. She stopped to bury the cats lying dead on the highways as she rode her bicycle in Israel. She said that it was disrespectful how people drove over them again and again.

Somehow through my darkest hours she managed to give me the feeling that I was not a bad person. She lived and breathed compassion and joy.

Keep the channel open.

If you want others to be happy practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - The Dalai Lama