Tamarika: Nothing to say

Today I have nothing to say.

I thought about writing about the politics of hair. I had been reading Nappy Forty and started thinking about how I always tried to straighten my curly, frizzy, fuzzy, nappy hair when I was young. It took hours and was as uncomfortable as could be. First I washed my hair and then wrapped it around my head keeping it firmly in place with long steel barrettes as it squeezed my brain for all the hours it took to dry. When my hair was dry it would fall sleek, shiny and straight for a few minutes, perhaps even an hour. I remember standing in front of the mirror thrilled with the idea of belonging to some kind of special club that would now, finally, have me. And then, wham! Humidity or a rain storm and the hair would kink itself up again.

Somehow acquiring the PhD or Tamar1_2 entering into age forties and fifties I decided that's that. No more trying to be tall with blond, straight hair. "I yam what I yam." Some days I even like my hair. Lately it is gray as well as being long and curly, frizzy, fuzzy and nappy.

I think about cutting it into some really cute Annette Benning style but as Michael, the hairdresser in Buffalo said as he exploded with laughter at me, "Tamar, Annette's hair is straight!"

I think about dying it. Michael laughed out loud at that idea too. "Darling," he shrieked in excitement, and everyone turned around to look at me bedraggled with wet hair all over my face as he snipped and snapped with those long quick fingers at the end of the scissors. "You are such low maintenance. You come in here every 18 months for a trim. If you dye your hair you have to keep it up every six weeks. That's so not you!"

One day another Michael, a four year old boy at the child care center, beckoned me to him with his finger. I had come out into the playground to see how everyone was doing. I walked over to him and bent my knees low so that we were face to face. He whispered, "You have very big hair." I was delighted!

My friend Evelyn once sent me a copy of Nappy Hair, a children's book by Carolivia Herron. Evelyn is a critical thinker with ideas that some educators in our field might consider radical. She inscribed in the book:

Dear Tamar, This is the book that almost set off a "race riot" in Brooklyn during Dec. (1998) I believe it has enormous potential to "stir things up" in your Bias workshops. Haven't we had fun during the years? Love Evie.

One of the African American parents at the child care center read the book at my bidding and wrote her response to me:

Generally I could appreciate the intent behind the story which is to focus on the strength of the African American culture by using the hair as a metaphor for that struggle. However, I do have mixed feelings. I am not sure they were successful in drawing a clear connection between the struggle and the metaphor of hair. I saw a lot of images that could be misconstrued by a less informed audience. I think I would have to see more positive images of beauty. I can, however, appreciate the presentation of the story in the typical rhythmic call and response that has been a tradition within the black culture. I guess I really had a lot of feelings about this book that are not so cut and dry.

Later in a "bias" workshop I conducted for Head Start, a group of African American supervisors and education coordinators read the book as a chorus with the traditional call and response rhythm. It was so exciting and emotional that I wept. The culture of nappy hair, it seems, causes pain to many African American people.

Anyway, I decided that I really did not want to write about the politics of hair today. Nappy Forty was right when she said a person could write a dissertation on that topic. Although perhaps one of these days I will write about it.

Then I thought that perhaps I would write about the habits of bloggers. I mean how do bloggers go about their day. Do they think about their topic all day long and then sit down and write it out? Do they read other people first to get ideas? I am sure the politicos must read "stuff" - a lot of "stuff" - before they can write their opinion-ated pieces. Do they drink a cup of coffee and eat a sandwich while they write? Or slurp up a whole bowl of chicken soup? Do the titles come first or at the end? Do they become excited as the words flow out onto the screen or get a "rush," a "high" after they read the whole work in print? Blogging, bloggers, the blogosphere has begun to intrigue me. Perhaps I should study it in some communication/media/journal department at some university. I could research about it qualitatively. I wonder how a person does an ethnography of bloggers. How would participant observation work? How would I conduct in-depth interviews? What work has already been done? I wonder.