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September 04, 2005



Beautifully stated, Tamar. It sounds as if you are just about like the rest of us. That is neither good nor bad, just the way it is.

One point to consider: It may not be so much learning to need the acknowledgement of others less, but coming to the recognition of our wholeness without them. When we are truly OK within our selves, complete as individuals (didn't say perfect) then the endorsement of others becomes an ehhancement, icing on the cake if you will. But if our self worth is based on others, then it is a fickle and fragile existence.


Long ago in therapy i explored expectations and disappointments ad nauseum. I mostly have that part of my life under control--but it is family that can sure push our buttons sometimes. I like what Winston said very much.


Yes, Fran, I like what Winston said too! And I agree with you that family members can still push my buttons.

That feeling okay within myself - that wholeness, is probably what I have been defining as "in and out of confidence," Winston. Have been reading more Geneen Roth and I love how she says: "Hemingway says that the world breaks everyone and some of us are strong in the broken places. The purpose of healing is to be strong in the broken places." And she also writes, "It's not the wound that determines the quality of your life, it's what you do with the wound - how you hold it, carry it, dance with it, or bury yourself under it."


Sounds right. Somebody said something like: It's not the falling down but the getting up that defines our strength and character.

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