Alvin

I've been thinking about age. Wisdom of the ages. How I feel wiser as I age. I've been thinking about youth. And how they drag old systems behind and on their backs even as they technologically progress as swiftly as the speed of cyberspace. Here are young students technologically savvy in the ways of Blackboard, LiveText, Internet, Net-Net and Cyber netovsky. And yet they hanker after the olden days, old ways of punished by rewards and thinking that feminists are all about burning bras and causing trouble. The early childhood field tires me out. Wears me to the bone. I struggle to change the system of unkindness towards children. I talk and write, think and share and still the same old, same old system curls and cycles around and around for years upon years. If people refuse to self-reflect and understand the system from inside their minds, behind their brains and within their souls, they will perpetuate and perpetuate that which is not good for anyone for ever. Am tired of people patting little children on their heads, confirming the "good job" as long as "they follow directions." Change takes forever and ever and even in a way it doesn't ever change.

The cycle of wise old age rebuffed by the energy of youth bores me to the point of tears.

Tom Frantz said that he learned so much about life when he worked with death and dying.

I want to toss out the old baggage, and move onto something that is real.

Two days ago, Molly caught a chipmunk and now the little animal lies in a hole, covered with leaves. It is still alive although hardly able to move. I visit it all day long and weep. Shimon calls him "Alvin." He says, "Call a vet and ask them what to do."

What on earth is the matter with me?

Comments

[Jean]

Sounds like the matter with them, not you! Ay, ay, perhaps it's time for a revolution. Chuck it all in and go found an alternative? But then only the children of those who already question will ever benefit, I guess. Really, really hard one. Having a break and coming back makes everything fresher and rawer, I think, doesn't it?
And so sorry about chipmunk. Yeah, you probably should call a vet.

[Tamar]

Jean, I think you've hit the nail on the head: "Having a break and coming back makes everything fresher and rawer." I have had such a long break from it all and seem to be faced with it all head on again. The revolution might come in which case I might choose a different path altogether. Perhaps working with Hospice or something like that. Am thinking about it! In the meantime I need to give myself a year before I throw it all away.

I did call the vet and they seem to think that if "Alvin" has survived this long, there is hope for a recovery. Or that I should accept and allow nature to run its course.

And so - feeling better all the way around. Thanks so much for relating to me about ALL of this!

[Joel]

I feel wiser when I age and the main result of that is I screw up ~less~ than I did.

[Tamar]

Yeah, Joel. Screwing up less. Interesting thought. I wonder if I do?