Shattered dreams (update)

I wrote this in an e-mail reply to a friend recently.

These past couple of years I have learned that I have a choice: I could see life as a series of "shattered dreams" or an interesting, amazing, colorful, life-full experience journey.

Today I was thinking about why I click off and out of the subject of Harriet Meirs (my name was Tamar Meir once for four years) and George Bush. I guess it's because I feel so powerless, helpless and depressed politically. We can yell and scream, kick and bite but these controlling behaviorists will just pat us on our heads and do it anyway without even saying "good job!" Yesterday I visited a school my students are practicing in. They must have said "good job" a thousand times and it was about sticking up a cut-out leaf next to another cut-out leaf of the same color. Creativity drained, children trained, puppies learning to toe the line, not make waves, not think for themselves, factory produced, emotion and intelligence repressed - at age 4.

Am sad. Really sad. For all of us. All are punished.

________________________________________________

After I completed this post I found Nostalgia at Never Neutral and Discomfort? at This Too. They seemed to fit with my mood and support me this morning. How strange. How blog-like.

Comments

[Jean]

Oh Tamar, what a powerful image of the little kids making leaves into rows... It means your students who'll be going out there need you all the more, doesn't it? - every seed you can plant, your teaching of the teachers potentially making so many outward ripples... but so tough, so hard sometimes to keep your spirits up, while being the pebble aiming yourself at a seemingly relentless stream... (sorry, mixed metaphors!)
How interesting that you mention my blogpost today and also Ernesto's. I think I got Ernesto thinking about nostalgia (see my Comments of 2 October), and as usual he found the perfect words for it. It is strange and lovely how our thoughts float in cyberspace and catch and interconnect xx

[Tamar]

Yes, I was soothed as if with a lullaby with both your and Ernesto's postings today. It is hard to keep my spirits up when I feel a huge regression in what I think is good practice for young children on the one hand and what I see being done in practice on the other. Plus, I want the students taking my class to see model programs and not the other kinds. The frustration is acute sometimes.

[J.]

"Am sad. Really sad."

And you've put your "sad" picture back up. :(

I hope you can help your students "make it better" and that you can find model programs for them to see.

I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to work in one (and I owe it all to you!). Here's hoping that I find another.

[Tamar]

Dear J.
How wonderful to see your comment this morning. Thank you so much. You surely understand what I am feeling for you know me better than most anyone I know. Am weeping with longing for our "model program," and for you, in particular. How quickly that which we love becomes the past, long ago, just a memory.

I like to think of my picture as "pensive" not sad.

Smiles for you through the tears.

[ainelivia]

am not really sure of the full implications of the Meirs appointment; however I can feel the sadness in this post.
it echoes what I felt listening to this morning's news "Cheney says this war will continue for decades". Why do I feel that maybe that's what he wants? Strange.

The students are the seeds I hope, from them change will grow.

[Adriana Bliss]

Tamar, I always come to your blog for a comforting sip of reality and truth. I feel as you do, sad with regard to the state of our country. I find myself posting to express only this single emotion.

Other words: powerless, helpless.

We are not enough to counter the heavy weight of unintelligent voting by the masses and it's very depressing. Logic, thought, consideration, long-term vision, all take a second place to patriotic and religious show.

So yes, I sometimes smile, too, through tears.

[Tamar]

Yeah, Ainelivia, quite awhile ago I read Chomsky on the subject and knew then that the US has no intention of ever leaving Iraq! And from your lips to the goddesses ears that my students will be the seeds from which change will grow. I will HAVE to hope that is true to keep on keeping on.

Hello again Adriana, let's keep on smiling at one another through our tears while at the same time writing, speaking out, keeping awake, alert and aware, and voting with strength and determination.

[ainelivia]

Hallo Tamar, I love that "from your lips to the goddesses and gods ears. There is a wonderful image there. Thank you for mentioning Noam. Because you have reminded me that I have been meaning to read his book for some time now. And now is a good time. And tomorrow is Sat.
Keep on keeping on. The universe can't ask any more of us.

[Cheryl]

For what it's worth I agree with J. about the picture.

[ernesto Priego]

Strange things happen. Blogs that link each other because they are empathic sometimess 'connect' in more than one way.

Thanks for being there.