Revealing the personal

There is a scene towards the end of The Matrix where Neo, after being shot, rises up alive when he hears Trinity declare her love for him. He stands strong and tall and as he stretches his body, the boundaries of reality around him bend and expand in and outwards. Neo is then able to stretch out his hand and stop the bullets in mid air. They become meaningless and drop to the ground. Indeed, he is even able to hold one of the bullets, explore it with his fingers and eyes as he understands the nature of its bullet-ness.

That is how I feel as I reveal my personal wounds and expose my limp. Boundaries of reality expand and I am able to see the bullets for what they are ... just that ... bullets that do not belong to me.

Alice Miller in The Truth Will Set You Free, writes:

... I believe in the power of love, but for me love is not synonymous with being "good" in the sense of being obedient. Love has something to do with with being true to oneself and ones feelings and needs. And the desire for knowledge is part of that ... My conviction is that we can only love if we are allowed to be what we are: no pretense, no disguises, no facades. We can genuinely love only if we do not deny ourselves the knowledge available to us (like the tree of knowledge in the Garden) if, instead of fleeing from it, we have the simple courage to eat the apple ...

... Children want to be accepted and loved, so in the end they do as they're told - which is precisely what I did. But that did not mean that I had lost the need to understand ... I sincerely believe that we not only have the right to know what is good and what is evil; we have the duty to acquire the knowledge if we hope to assume responsibility for our own lives and those of our children. Only by knowing the truth can we be set free. Only in this way can we free ourselves from the fears and anxieties we knew as children, blamed and punished for sins we did not know we had committed, the fateful fear of the sin of disobedience, that crippling anxiety that has wrecked so many people's lives and keeps them in the thrall of their own childhood.

Given the right help, we as adults can free ourselves from that terrible spell. We can procure vital information and realize that we are no longer forced to stay the submissive child, searching for some profound logic in everything educators and religious instruction teachers passed to us as the gospel truth - and which was nothing other than the product of their own anxieties. You will be amazed at the relief you will feel when you step out of that stifling role. Then, at last, you will claim your right to face reality head-on, to reject illogical justifications, and to remain true to your own history. (pages 2-10)

Comments

[Brenda]

To me, it's about our narratives, our stories, the way we tell them to ourselves, to each other. We each have a central narrative, a central story, a way of perceiving our lives from a vantage point, and it's probably connected to our ego, this vantage, the colour and tone and meaning we give to our story. If we can write the script of our lives, if that is given to us to do even a little, then through telling our stories, but perhaps shifting the perspective from victim to survivor to thriver, we can heal. Does this make any sense? I'm not sure if it does... xo

[moose]

bullets that do not belong to me. I love this, it says so much.

I have answered you under your other post.

[Natalie]

Tamarika, go over to Mike's (Troubled Diva), you'll see that your very personal "Breaking It" post has had profound effect. I've nominated you for Post of the Week.

[Tamar]

Wow, Natalie, I am honored, surprised, humbled. I will go over to "Troubled Diva" in a few moments.

moose, I read the poem at your site and was deeply moved. I will print it out and keep it always. Thank you for your kindness.

Brenda, I think that how we share our stories connects and binds us into a bundle of humanity. It helps us expand our boundaries of reality together. Does that make sense?

[Danny]

I love that image you described. From "The Matrix?" Who knew!

I am desperate to "claim my right to face reality head-on," but I'm not there yet.

[ainelivia]

"Given the right help, we as adults can free ourselves from that terrible spell." That is how I felt, under a spell. I love that moment from the Matrix. Thank you for the link to Alice very helpful.

[Jean]

I have to read some of Alice Miller's work. Have meant to do so for so long, and given this quote about 'freeing ourselves from that terrible spell', which speaks to directly to my recent feelings...
Which book do you think is a good one to start with?
And thank you for the link to website!

[Tamar]

Jean, I have read this one:
"The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self."

I found myself in it in all sorts of ways!