It's a thin line ...

Quote of the day:

We all go around saying, “Oh, so-and-so is normal,” but I bet when you’re not looking, that person’s favorite thing to do is run around and bark like a dog. Everyone has some craziness. It may only be one atom, but it is there whether you accept it or not. We are what we are.
Devon Regina DeSalvo [from Danny Miller's blog]

It's a thin line that runs through my neck from my shoulder blade right up to my brain. I think it might be a nerve. It becomes tight, dangerously tight, pinching at my mind very early in the morning waking me from a fitful sleep and filling my head with thoughts. I think it is because I care about:

• how seriously students take the early childhood profession
• how seriously they take the quality of personal interactions with children
• the quality of my own work and life
• as a professor,
• a teacher,
• a counselor,
• an author,
• a colleague,
• a friend,
• a mother,
• a human being for God's sake!
• how I'm doing in general
• how much I miss my son since he became a man
• what I really should be doing (like writing my book instead of twittering my life away)
• just wanting to have fun

And so I awoke this morning with ideas about how I can do it better next semester and the one after that. I cannot wait to get there to try it out. I do not have the patience to finish off the stuff I did not so well this semester. Okay! I get it! I want to move on. Life is short for me now that I am on the other side of 50 almost at 60. I have no time to mess around with mistakes and how I could have done it better. I want to get cracking right now this very moment.

Oh, hell. Why am I not perfect already?

And so, I reach for my special Kris Kringle mug Janna once gave me because she cared that I would have my gift in time! And the thin line, the tight, tight nerve, the pinching and prodding just starts to melt away ...

A year ago at Tamarika: Being a fun gal (update)

Comments

[tamarika]

Em, am glad this post resonated with you. I visited your blog and so liked what I found. Thank you.

[Em]

It was good to read this, thanks. I find myself today thinking about all the places in my life where I can slow down and get it right, where a little attention might smooth out the edges of my mistakes. It isn't a bad place to be...