Early morning thoughts

How life disappears. All that was so important once. Now gone. Blown away like a puff of smoke. I remember twenty years ago Passover in Israel: spring flowers, spring cleaning, warm, sunny days, the odd khamsin, days off from school, gifts, new clothes, families gathering for a festive, ritual meal. All gone. Memories remain but huge pieces of life disappear. Out of sight. Swimming in the pool, feeling lithe and weightless, making long, strong strokes. I rise out to a reflection of myself in the window and see standing before me a short, round, older woman who moves slowly weighed down by memories of life that have disappeared. Sink into the hot tub and feel the weight melt away. Hot, swirling waters envelop the aging body, as I slip and slide into the here and now, allowing the past to fade away.

Comments

[tamarika]

Thank you, Heidi.

[Heidi]

Tamar, this post was beautifully written.

[tamarika]

Dear Tamar,
Thank you for hearing me. There you are: understanding. I appreciate that a great deal. It has given me food for thought - for the next post, which I will dedicate to you for noticing! A bientot, person of my same name!

[Tamar]

I'd love to know more about your Passover now past, and how it was blown away — how it disappeared, and why are you allowing it to fade away. While I sorely miss the passing of my childhood Passovers and of my father and grandparents, co-celebrants, I attempt each year to capture the ancient story, telling and retelling it even as the narrations are nuanced by changes in and around me.