Ruminations

The beneficent old oak tree is raining acorns on the roof, in the garden, all over the grass and even in the bird bath Tom bought me for my birthday two years ago. Squirrels and chipmunks have been busy for days, scurrying and scuttling around collecting, eating, burrowing, and hiding the nuts. Ada and I sit and watch from the window. At times she clucks and chirps but mostly we sit together in silence, still as a Sphinx just being together, observing, eyes darting from side to side, turning our heads as if in one synchronized movement. I follow her lead for she notices the tiniest movement from the smallest corner of her eye.

Lately, my dreams have been about traveling along a rough and rocky terrain, sometimes dangerously high and narrow and at others through interesting swamps and forests. In an old white pick-up truck and also by train. And I am never driving. Always a passenger, tossed back and forth, with no control of where we are headed or how we will get there. I am always interested in the view and sometimes feel helpless and scared. People around me are in charge of the drive and I am not comfortable because as much as I depend on them and need them to steer the course, I do not always trust that they know what they are doing. I awake pensive, and wander around pouring my coffee, opening blinds, preparing for the day almost as if in a trance.

Autumn is always a reflective time for me anyway. Living in the woods with the huge old oak tree as my partner and all the animals and birds coming and going, I can't help but feel the seasons deeply in my bones. As plants and trees shed and prepare themselves for the long sleep, I find myself reviewing the past year and looking towards new and different times ahead. And I feel as if I am heading into some interesting, and, perhaps, scary territory.

I just hope I get to steer the course from time to time. But for that I guess I will need to take some action and, even, reach for the wheel. Or, perhaps I might learn to sit back, relax, and trust that the drivers know what they are doing.

Comments

[tamarika]

Thanks Frank!

[fp]

Marvelously evocative post! Autumn is here and I think theres nothing we can do about it except enjoy the crisp air and the colors and prepare for winter.