I have to say that I have not much to say today. I have many thoughts about different aspects to my life but they do not feel organized enough to place on this page. I suppose I could make a list, and that might help me focus them into some kind of order. And then, again, I wonder why I need to order them at all? Are we always trying to create order out of the chaos? Control the uncontrol-able? Understand the why's and wherefore's of the life happening of events? I remember my friend, Melinda, oh, so many years ago. I was lying face down on her huge water bed, body rocking with the warm, wavy motion, and sobbing into the pillow. My first marriage was crumbling before my eyes and I was distraught. She rubbed my back slowly and gently whispering softly, "Oh, oh, that hurts so much." And then she said, "Don't worry, Tamar, everything is out of control." And somehow, as I heard those words, the inner hysteria calmed and my sobs lessened. I sighed deeply and relaxed.
I often think of that night with Melinda even though it was thirty years ago. And as life feels uncontrol-able, as it does this morning, I remember her words, sigh deeply, and relax.
Two years ago at Tamarika: My friend, Sally
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