Blogging in my mind

Living life in the real world does not mean that I have not been blogging. At least, in my mind it seems. For, I awoke this morning realizing that I dreamed a blog post. In my dream, I was standing and talking to people and as I spoke I realized I was, in fact, writing a piece in my blog. I have also been missing those blogs that I read regularly. Life in the fast lane has kept me from my Cyber community. But not so in my mind. As I woke up this morning, I understood that I hold the blogging community in my thoughts as tenderly as friends and family of my reality world.

It is a month since I traveled to Israel. On my return I rushed off to New Orleans for a conference and then began the task of taking on a new position at work. This entailed moving offices and immediately learning new ropes that go with the job. All the knots and twists and turns that go with the ropes. Or, at least, some of them. More will definitely come! 

At home we decided that our old bedroom was just that - old. And the time had come for a renewal! Shopping for a new one and assembling it took hours of long, hard labor. Your know? 

• opening boxes, 
• vacuuming behind the old thrown away stuff, 
• reading instructions, 
• driving the boxes to the recycling dumpster ... all those kinds of things that come with renewal ...

And then there was the facing of a medical procedure that I have been putting off for some months now. Yesterday I finally conquered my fear and had it done. As I await the results I feel a sense of relief that I had the courage to confront the demons of my past. For, the surgery and my past experiences were intimately connected. When the doctor asked me how I was feeling yesterday, as we were waiting for me to be wheeled in to the operating theater, I laughed out loud and said, "Well, I'm here, aren't I? That's the first step." 

Come to think of it, blogging, self-expression, writing - all might have been trapped somehow, held back as I used all my energy to confront my fears of this medical procedure. This morning, after sleeping off the anesthesia all day and all night, I feel lighter, fresher and more able to write. Indeed, my mind released me inside my sleep last night. 

There is much to talk about. Like, how I have moved on beyond past anger. Or, how much more accepting of my age I have become ... And, even, how I have forgiven others and my self ... Yes indeed. Much to write about. Still more to explore and uncover. 

On this first day of summer, I think of the days ahead excitedly, with hope and so much to look forward to: work, home, reconnections to family, friends - old, new, virtual, real, new book to be released in August ... Barack Obama as President ... hm ... and I say: "Hey! Bring it all on!"

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Quote of the day

Comments

[tamarika]

Yes! Beautiful! Introspective and communal both at the same time!

Thanks so much, ell.

[ell]

I think this is a uniquely blogger thing - the writing, reading and responding. It's both introspective and communal at the same time.

Glad you looked after your health, Tamarika.

[tamarika]

Yes. It is true that I am often thinking of a blog post as I go about my day. However, I don't often dream about it as vividly as I did on Friday night. I have been missing the constant back and forth of writing and reading others - keeping up with my favorite bloggers' news.
Thanks, Tamar and Winston, for your comments.

[tamar]

First, mazal tov on taking that giant step forward that you had postponed — to address a health issue . NOT easy.

Next, blogging is on my mind a lot, whether I'm composing thoughts (I always have a backlog of posts in draft form... mental and electronic) or wondering how to get through a blogging block or impasse (leave it alone is my best advice to myself). Last week, I hosted an interview via my MacBook in which an Israeli blogger (in English, usually) tells of walking around w multiple posts in her head, and how no writing form is as gratifying (not a little because the blogger alone determines content, style, and everything else!). I felt in good company listening to On the Face: Lisa's very cool interview with Stephanie.

[Winston]

Aside from the blogging in my head, which I assume most of us do from time to time, I too have blogged or written in my sleep. Sometimes it is simply a small discovery while in the care of Morpheus -- discovery of how to start or how to finish or how to color the spaces in-between, discovering details which havd been eluding us for days or weeks of wakeful thought.