Count down begins

Quote of the day

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry Truman (From CCIE)

Turning sixty is just 45 days away, and it is looming large for me right now. I cannot believe that I am privileged enough to be about to achieve such a grand old age. It seems substantial and, oh so mature! It feels grander than when I turned 50. Indeed, I was just a mere piddly squeak back then compared to how I have grown (groan?), and all I have managed to accomplish personally and professionally these past ten years.

And so, I have decided to count down until the big day - the very moment my body, mind, and soul enters my sixtieth birthday - on May 24 this year. On that day I will be in Paris, accompanied by life partner, my son, and mother-in-law. One of my best friends is planning to take a train from Italy to join in the festivities, which will most certainly include the imbibing of a gateau - Mille-feuille, to be exact. We have been planning this for some time since Paris is one of my favorite cities in the world, and I was first introduced to the Mille-feuille by my step-mother when I was a small child growing up in Africa. She would dress me up like a pretty little doll and take me out to one of Bulawayo's department stores, Haddon & Sly. 

I would sit quietly watching my step-mother closely as she dressed herself with great care, slipping hairpins into the neat roll she created around the bottom edge of her blue-silver tinted hair. After donning her beige colored gloves, we would drive off together into the town for our outing. I cannot remember what we did at Haddon & Sly except for the times we would visit the store's tea-room for tea and cakes - and, usually Mille-feuille was among them. I would sit at the table politely making sure to be on my very best behavior. 

I remember feeling almost as if I was being initiated into some type of aristocratic, sophisticated world meant for other people - everyone else, that is, except me. It was like some kind of lucky fluke that I was even allowed to participate in it for a brief moment. I understood that I would have to keep very quiet, not fidget or make any unnecessary movement in my seat, and eat my cake ever so carefully until each crumb was cleaned off the plate and into my hungry little mouth. I probably could have eaten sixteen of them one after another. They were so delicate and petite, and so completely delicious - expert flaky pastry, creamy custard filling and elegant powdered sugar frosting the top. I was always so proud not to allow one tiniest drop of the powdered sugar to fall onto the table cloth, or more importantly, onto my clothes. My step-mother would have hated that, and I feared her wrath considerably.

I do not have very many vivid memories of my childhood. In fact, when I do try to think back it all seems colored in gray - quite dark actually. And I remember being afraid most of the time - afraid of anything and everything. Indeed, I have spent my life working hard to allow light and sunshine in to bathe and warm my soul. 

As my count down to sixty begins, I imagine sitting in a cafe in Paris, accompanied by people I love, all partaking in an early childhood memory with me, as we munch on as many mille-feuilles we care to eat!

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Life and friendship (Update)

Comments

[ainelivia]

yes, a change being as good as a rest, they say. my first reasoning was financial, coming to the end of the yearly contract seemed like a good time. when i actually clicked on the cancel button, i felt somehow relieved, that i'd come to the end of something and was ready to move on to something new.

[tamarika]

Hello ainelivia. Thanks for the very good wishes. Much appreciated! I have updated your blog site on my list. Thanks for the update and good luck at your new blog site. I found it helped me so much when I created Mining Nuggets after being Tamarika for a couple of years!

[ainelivia]

Hey Tamar, welcome to the super, scintillating sixties, well almost. And what a wonderful celebration you have ahead of you. I'll be thinking of you on May 24th.

just to mention, have moved blog to www.ainelivia.blogspot.com

[tamarika]

Dear friend,
Your words bring tears to my eyes. I have always been grateful for your friendship and support. Besides, you gave me that mirror - which i still have - and it still often saves my emotional life in those situations that pull me down. So, friendship works both ways.
Hugs and smiles and send love to those fabulous men in your life!

[Donna Falcone]

Love you back, TOmar!
Joe and I were driving back from NY and listening to Kate Wolf... suddenly Elephants and Pumas filled the room and it was beyond my control! I laughed out loud and wondered if you remembered how he changed that song??? He has a way of rewriting a song in an instant bout of silliness which changes the song forever and ever! LOL!

How did it happen that just yesterday you were holding my infant son... and then the next...? And now that you are nearly 60 Nathaniel is nearly 15, born the day after your 45th! And Matt will be learning how to drive in the coming weeks! I cannot wrap my mind around that so I don't try to understand how it is even possible, but I sure know it is... and also from Kate Wolf: I've been sifting through the layers of dusty books and faded papers... they tell a story I used to know... it was one that happened so long ago... I often wonder if you realize what a gift you have been to MY life. I often wonder how my life would have been different if you did not fill me with hot tea and Dan Fogelburg for weeks on end until finally you tossed one hand quickly into the air and proclaimed "ENOUGH! If you want to BE with JOE, then BE WITH JOE!" So simple, yet so complicated!!! So, your early birthday gift comes in the form of this reminder that you touched and changed my life... without you I would not have had the courage perhaps to love that man of mine... we would have perhaps had a much different outcome (as I can be VERY stubborn you know)... and these wonderful boys would have remained a dream in the sky. Melodramatic? Maybe... but true, and besides, birthdays are meant for drama!