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April 20, 2009


Donna Falcone

Hmmmm.... still waiting to get to the exhilarating and exciting part. To me it's just pretty depressing most of the time, and the rest of the time it's just hard. Well, that's not entirely true. I have found somewhere coming out of me some writing that I really, really like... stories, poems, songs, and prayers... some of it I hardly recognize as my own if that makes any sense at all. I find that exhilarating and mysterious and even mystical. I heard myself say outloud to one of the very FEW people who actually speak my language... If I can write these things then somewhere inside of me is a person ... a higher self... who isn't such a mess. Now, if I can just BE that person more and THIS person less. How about that..? I want to be my higher self when I grow up?! LOL! Yup! (Weird and yet has a hopeful ring to it).


These are important thoughts that I am sure all reflective parents go through. I certainly did and do!
And, yes ... Self work is exhausting when it isn’t exhilarating and exciting.

Donna Falcone

Being a map maker for such a long long time can make one feel so tired, ya know? Sometimes I just want a damned map in my hand. Sometimes I think if I hadn't been without a map that I could accept for so long maybe I wouldn't be so damned tired. Children are lucky if they come to parents who have a decent map to pass on. I always wonder what kind of map, in the end, I will leave with my children? I did break some cycles. BUT, so many are just so hard wired. If I am the only one my hard wiring has blocked I will be so relieved... but I have no way of knowing what kind of hell my children will see when they look back at their childhoods.


Yes, sky - it is the challenges that push us, but only if we choose to see them in that light. Lucky for you, you are making that choice. I love being able to offer my students different options in the way they understand their reality or see themselves. It's always intriguing to me to see who chooses to open up to different options, and who decides to stay put - for the time being.

Donna, what a beautiful way you describe this. I love the idea of "map maker," because ultimately, as we make the changes we are all venturing into unknown territory, whether we know our life script or not - into a different reality, or way of perceiving ourselves and our situations.

Donna Falcone

I think changes come in waves. I broke some pretty powerful cycles out of sheer stubbornness and refusal to repeat patterns, but I hadn't a clue what my life script was... all I knew was I what I didn't want it to be. I chose to sail without a map b/c I didn't like the map I had been given. So, that was one wave. Now, understanding more and forgiving much (not all, not yet, but getting there perhaps) I am more intentional in the changes I make. I guess I have become a map maker at this point. I guess this is another wave.

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