Weary to the bone

Quote of the day:

We filter our discipline strategies through emotional memories of punishment. Me from my Power Point presentation.

Last night it was so good to lay in my own bed with little Ada snuggled up close to my feet. Yesterday had been a long day of walking the convention center's concourse, up, up, up the escalators and down, down down again. Talking four hours straight, answering questions, trying to be intelligent, humorous, aware, observant, alert, and welcoming. 

My heart became heavy with people recounting about how they were punished as children with beatings, whippings, name calling and cold showers. By the end of the day, my soul was aching for the human condition. 

I wonder despairingly:

How will we ever develop compassion in this world if so many people have suffered so much humiliation and anxiety as young children? 

How are teachers able to wrap their hearts and minds around our youngest children with compassionate guidance, when their earliest emotional memories are clouded by fear and resentment?

My sister, Elise, sent me a message the other day in response to an email I had sent to the family (on quite a different matter). 

I read it this morning, and plan a new day:

Buddha says live for the day - never think of the past because you are the
past and not tomorrow because you will waste your precious present time in
those thoughts of the future.

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Faces of sixty

Comments

[tamarika]

Good point, Jan.

Yes of course people do remember the warm fuzzies too, and we see it time and again in the classroom - beautiful compassionate guidance moments. And, of course, it helps if teachers are treated better with more support and respect from their administrators as well - no question about it.

On the other hand, our brain, in order to keep us alive and help us survive, tends to hold onto those negative emotional memories to alert us to danger.

So important to build positive nurturing experiences for children so that the brain might hold onto those more than the negative ones.

Awareness, self-reflection is key. To help us sift out how we are blocked when confronted by strong emotional responses in disciplinary situations with young children in our care.

[Jan Delacourt]

It strikes me that those negative feelings of childhood seem so much more powerful than the positive ones- how come? Is it possible ALSO to remember the warm fuzzies, and re-enter that cocoon for a moment of peace and relaxation? I wasn't very good at providing those spaces as a teacher until I had other adult support in the classroom. Being together is better!