"Women, Food and God"

The other day, I stumbled upon Geneen Roth's latest book quite by accident. In the past I read her books and was intrigued with the idea of giving up diets and taking responsibility for my eating habits. However, I never quite trusted myself enough, and used her writings as an excuse to eat what I liked, when I liked, and how much I wanted!

Recently after a 5-year hiatus from decades of therapy, I decided to seek out a therapist in my area. I find myself, at age 61 realizing, as if for the first time, that I always bolted from facing my feelings. This is amazing and frustrating for me to discover. For, during the past 8 years I have authored two books for teachers of young children specifically to help them confront their emotions in order to interact with children and families more effectively. Indeed, one of my books is even titled, “Confronting Our Discomfort.” I taught young children for many years before becoming a teacher educator, and know first-hand that my earliest emotional memories affect how I behave today. I am convinced that unless we become aware of how we feel, we could unintentionally emotionally harm young children in our care. I realized in therapy that I write, and teach others about this topic all over the country because it brings me closer to facing my own issues.

“Women, Food, and God” resonates with me. Timing is everything! And I discovered it right in the thick of working to confront my emotions brain, head and heart on. Reading each page I felt as if Geneen was speaking to me directly. Indeed, her whole book is an “aha” moment! But especially this quote:

But the person who would be killed, the “I” in the “pain is big and I am small” belief, is an idea, a memory, an image of yourself left over from childhood. You already felt destroyed. That was then. You will never be that small again. You are not dependent on someone else to hold you, to love you so that you continue breathing. (Page 42)

I want to stay and be curious about me. Not as a collection of memories. Not from replaying what happened to me. I want to be the me who is not my past, not my habits, not my compulsions (page 43).

For at age 61 I realize that I have already survived extraordinary pain. There is no more time to lose. From now on, I would like to experience joy as well! 

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Infants on my mind

Comments

[Aeron]

I've been reading Roth's book too! It connects beyond food --to all addictive behaviors, I think. Really good.

[tamarika]

ainelivia,
Thanks for those wishes! Yes, I do believe that is one of the advantages of age (if we allow ourselves to feel that).
Smiles.

[ainelivia]

and my wish for you is that you will, can, and do. talking to a friend the other day about as we grow older that "time is running out", phrase, feeling occurs again and again, and that it pushes us to live, as much as we can, in the present. perhaps this is one of the advantages of age, hope so...