Early education

Well, now I have two kittens in the house and am faced with early education challenges. I find myself confronted with situations that require attitudes and behaviors from me - many, which I suggest or expect from the pre or in-service teachers I instruct or mentor. Naturally I understand that a kitten is not a human child. Or do I?

I wonder.

These little creatures were raised for many weeks in a large cage together, the remaining duo from a litter of six. Mimi is sturdy, strong, and healthy. She is rambunctious and smart, eats voraciously, and constantly is at play with everything she can lay her paws on. Oscar is tiny, tender, gentle and fragile. He seems to wobble as he wanders cautiously through the house. My sister, Sue, described him as wearing his "battle dress" as he slinks around prepared to defend himself at any moment from any in-coming danger, namely his sister, Mimi. She charges him and urges him to rough and tumble, but he refuses and subsides into the background. Often we find him hunkered down next to one of the heating units, and he sleeps, it seems, all day and all night. 

I go in and out of parental panic. Should I intervene on Oscar's behalf? Or discipline dear little Mimi? And what does that mean? "To discipline Mimi." Can one really set boundaries for a cat? For example, what happens when I am out of the house and they learn to live together, which they have done already in their earliest kitten hood within the confines of their cage. At times I adore Mimi as she runs around with her red ball chasing and tumbling with it, and then running towards me with her little bandy legs, carrying the ball in her mouth expecting me to throw it for her to "fetch," again and again. There are times when I experience frustration when she charges her vulnerable, little brother, while understanding, at the very same time, that they have to work out their own dynamics and power structures, as two cats living in the same house.

And there I go again and again - round and round, confused and anxious, not knowing what to do! 

True enough, it surely presses all kinds of personal buttons to see Oscar as the underdog (cat?), a victim to marginalization and working hard to be invisible - out of Mimi's range. I have to admit that I find myself identifying with him. And, on the other hand, that feeling makes me as mad as a hatter. Because I have been working on myself in therapy for years in order not to feel like that. Indeed, I have made a conscious decision to take all kinds of emotional stands for me recently, and no longer feel like a victim. No indeed. Just the opposite. I feel empowered and so much more confident. I realize, too, that dear sweet little Mimi is not the "bad guy (girl?)." Just a little kitty with developmental needs of her own.

And so, I conclude that Oscar's cat behavior, as he works within the power structure of his relationship with sister Mimi, has absolutely nothing to do with who I am, nor how I perceive myself.

Wow! Therapeutic opportunity!

Perhaps finding these two cats was the very thing I needed to remind me about my Self and how I view early education. Which is, that our own emotional development affects how we relate to and interact with children and families.

Plain and simple.

We have an awesome responsibility to work on ourselves psychologically, when we develop relationships with other human beings ...

... hm ...

... or cats for that matter.

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Attention getting

Comments

[Tamarika]

Thanks for your comment, gina@RodenCareHome.
Helpful thoughts to calm a parent's jagged nerves, to be sure.

[Gina@Roden Care Home Telford]

Our 2 cats were exactly the same when we got them. We thought they were both boys for the first few weeks until the vet informed us that the little scared one was a girl! Every family has their dynamic, I'm sure they'll grow up just fine.

[Tamarika]

Yes, Jean, I think you are right! (and by the way, it is terrific to see you here!!!)

Love conquers all. We watch over Oscar in case Mimi becomes a bit rough, but I will have to learn not to worry when I am not at home ...

Of course, all this makes me miss my old lady Ada cat all the more ...

[Jean]

Fascinating! My first thought (as a complete non-expert except to the degree that one's own childhood experience makes everyone a bit of an expert) is that both just need lots of love and reinforcement for being who they are, so that perhaps they won't in time have to express this in quite so extreme and needy a fashion (except if Mimi is physically injuring or really terrorising Oscar, of course). Interesting that the stereotypical gender dynamic is also reversed, which may also make both their behaviours seem more extreme.