My morning list about giving another option:
- Another way of thinking.
- A different perspective.
- An alternate reality.
- A different truth.
- Another belief.
- New ideas.
- Different ways to solve problems.
- Another way of understanding.
- Conflicting emotions.
- Survival meets reality.
- Looking back and thinking forward.
- Gathering up the pieces.
- Exploring what we know against what we have learned.
- Breaking down walls.
- Rolling aside boulders.
- Chipping away at old paradigms.
- Changing the emotional script.
- Developing a new self-image.
- Opening my eyes.
- Taking off the sunglasses.
- Clearing away the clutter.
- Independent thought
- New ways for self expression
- Cognitive dissonance
- Clearing the view
- My survival affects how I hear you
The hardest part of self alteration is when my survival meets reality. For, as a young child, I learned to survive by repressing feelings, needs, and being ashamed or felt undeserving for having them - even to doubt that I had them at all! Now, as an adult, I am faced with a different reality. That is, I am deserving, and my feelings and needs are valid. And yet, shame and doubt still flies up in the face of my fear for survival.
More and more I am able to face my shame and doubt with less and less fear. For years I felt as if I was up against an impenetrable wall. Lately, I realize I have been chipping away at that metaphorical wall, and, somehow, have turned it into a mere boulder in the middle of the road. I have been able to climb over, or maneuver myself around the boulder, and still it stands there - like a large, heavy lump, in my path.
These past couple of months, I have moments - almost like a revelation - when I feel as if the boulder has been rolled aside, and the way forward is clear and free. I sense feelings of peace, and freedom, almost as if I could fly away.
For me, education (and therapy) is about giving or receiving another option - cognitive and/or emotional. This morning, I am grateful for both: education and therapy.
Dear MaryB,
Thank you so much for your constant support and encouragement all these years!
Posted by: Tamarika | December 12, 2013 at 07:01 AM
Wonderful list, Tamar. Glad your boulder has been rolled aside. Go, girl, go!
Posted by: MaryB | December 11, 2013 at 09:10 AM