Picture Day!
Yesterday I had my picture taken by a professional photographer. Jo was terrific! What an angel! She took pictures of me smiling, laughing, dubious, chatty, and serious. Even though it took her almost half of the one and a half hours we were together to help me relax into the process, I remained inwardly tense, cautious, and embarrassed the entire time.
I guess I really do not like having my picture taken. I realized it was all the attention that was being paid to me by a person standing in front of me with a camera that made me the most uncomfortable. Jo photographed me in every corner of the house and out in my yard. There were over a hundred photographs to choose from.
After Jo left I scrolled through them over and over again, and struggled to recognize the faces staring back at me. "Is this me?" I kept asking myself. This gray-haired older woman? There was just no way to deny the fact that I have aged. It was, in a way, devastating. I kept on wondering just how much life time I have left. I went to bed hoping that if I slept on it I would wake up and rediscover me in the morning.
But ... no ... there I was ... again ... staring out at me as I scrolled through the photographs. How on earth would I be able to choose just one picture for the cover of my forthcoming book?
I know, I know. I hear you say out there:"You're only as old as you feel." But the reality is hard to deny. I simply have to face it. Young Tamarika is gone!
And autumn has arrived.
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