Rambling

Okay - here is a third try to write something for December. Writing a blog there are no crumpled pieces of paper strewn all over the floor. But ideas are strewn all over my brain. At first I wanted to write about awareness and how my self exploration  and understanding has made me more aware and clear about who I am and how I got here. But then I realized that there was way too much to write in one blog post and I did not feel like delving into painful realizations.

Then I started to write about the year that was and how I am thinking ahead to the new year. But that felt so cliche and expected at this time of the year.

Finally, I wanted to write about the changing weather and how getting older this year has been gratifying because I feel so much more alive and authentic than I have ever been. I was about to include in that some of what I was thinking about as I completed the final draft of my upcoming book. None of those pieces felt worthwhile to post.

And so, then I tried my hand at some political activist writing where I explained that I made a conscious decision this past year not to discuss politics on my blog or Facebook page. It was not out of fear, or even sorrow that President Obama's term had come to an end. It was simple. I did not want the name of our current President to sully my websites. I did not want to give him any kind of attention. But mainly, his name, actions, comments, behaviors, and interactions are shameful, and I did not want that to taint anything that came from me. But that topic fell, well, flat on its face.

My brain has been rambling on and on today making me think of so many different things. In the end I suppose I am glad that the semester is winding down and I am looking forward to the winter holiday season with family and friends. That's as banal as can be but then so is life mostly - ordinary and day-to-day. It doesn't have to be exciting and surprising. It can be just that - visits with friends, baking a cake, and feeding the cats. Walking in the woods and gasping with joy at the blooming Christmas cacti in the breakfast nook.