I cannot believe that ten years ago I wrote a series of blog posts about turning sixty. I mean where did those ten years go? For, now it's already time to count down to 70. Somehow this stage feels even more formidable than 60, especially because at the end of June next year I will be officially retired from my position at Rider University. While I know that I will be busy facilitating professional development workshops and making presentations in Macau in April and New Zealand a year later - not to mention my usual early childhood conference contributions - I will not formally belong to any institution. It feels weird! After all, I have worked for one educational institution or another for the past 45 years. Hmm, I must admit it is like being put out to pasture - plain and simple. On the way to tennis with a friend yesterday, when I used that term: "being put out to pasture," he declared that at least it will be easy - just eating grass - lots and lots of grass! I'm entering a new stage of life - one that has a definitive end. The other night one of my students said that it was "morbid" that I should be thinking about "the end." But I really don't feel "morbid!" Just facing facts of reality - in the moment, looking fairly and squarely at my developmental stage.
I figure there is not much time left since it flies by so swiftly these days, and am not quite sure how to write about all these feelings: Sadness at the loss of youth and livelihood; excitement and trepidation about unknown roads ahead; anxiety about how to consider myself worthwhile; and joy and relief at being free to do what, where, and whenever I like. And, surely I will identify many more emotions along the way. For example, I am really going to miss those students, accompanying them as they start off their academic journey and future career with me as high school students. Sending them off at the end of four years when they have become fine, professional young women and men, poised to care for and educate our youngest children, or continue on to graduate school to become counselors, principals or anything else at all that their heart desires.
So, I say: let the countdown to 70 begin with me feeling stronger, more confident and youthful than I have experienced in a long while. So much of what I do lately is authentic and meaningful, whether it is brushing the cats, fasting on Yom Kippur, walking along Forbidden Drive by the Wissahickon, playing tennis, watering plants on a Saturday morning, going to the movies, having coffee with a friend, reading a book, writing postcards to legislators, visiting my son and his wife in Manhattan, teaching a class, or making a presentation to early childhood educators. As the days and months progress toward the seventh decade event, I will endeavor to unpack and explore emotions and experiences that accompany this new journey into the unknown.
One thing is for sure, though - it looks like I won't have to go it alone. For, there are friends who are waiting for me to join them with encouragement and support, as they are already on their way.
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